my first experience as a novice Mistress

As I conclude my first year of being in the lifestyle, I recall the people I have met and sustained relationships with, and others that I should probably refrain from staying in contact with.

My mentor when I began this Journey was/is Audacity Diaz, a good friend of mine who is well more experienced in female domination than I was and even now she is still more assertive of Herself than I am. There is always something new I can learn from her.

Now, I have dabbled in the sugar bowl, but that is not the topic of this evening but prior to meeting my first submissive that was the only real life exposure I had to any type of SW. Surprisingly, it was not difficult for me to find potential daddies and the funny thing is that most of them where what I was looking for… a rich lawyer. So I knew it was important to be good with my words and carry myself in a certain manner, it was about being what these guys wanted me to be and give them excellent company that the surrounding men would be jealous of.

I’ll definitely touch more on my sugar bowl experiences at a later time, but as a side note I guess it reaffirmed that I much preferred taking the lead in relationships and being pampered, and spoiled for simply being me.

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I met my first submissive on Fetlife, although I had a bunch of slave applications in my inbox when I first started (as you can imagine), his stood out in particular due his proximity to me and the structure and content of his letter. I was just beginning to discover fetishes, and wasn’t quite sure what I liked and didn’t, but this submissive was into sissification. For sure his main kink.

He wasn’t ugly and he told me he had his own business… for some reason I thought he owned a restaurant or bakery due to the proximity but turns out I was talking to a lawyer with his own practice, coincidently.

I was a bit nervous to meet him, because again, I had turned 22 years old not that long ago and I was meeting a stranger who could easily be a murderer. But I guess he could have said the same.

We met at the parking lot of a store, and I was waiting for him inside as I was honestly really nervous. Then I got a text that he arrived and that he was in “the bougie Mercedes”. As I go outside I see him in his work clothes still, in the distance waving at me.

I had no idea how close we would get and how well we get along in a D/s relationship, but us smoking weed in his car the first time we met would have been a good indicator.

I adore Chrissy as a submissive. In retrospect I see he’s not one of the best human beings, but he is very fun to be with and at the same time I really admired him for his professional achievements.

Chrissy is an important person in my journey as a dominatrix, and was my first D/s relationship.

After smoking weed, we went back to the store and he bought me over $300 worth of crap I wanted, which included a fancy bong, jewelry for my piercings, and probably something else that I don’t remember now. I made him carry the purchase and my purse as he walked behind me. I was also aware that the people at the store knew that they were going to get a fat purchase with us as they were EXTRA helpful.

When we got to the hotel room on the side of the beach, I did not feel uncomfortable but I did feel uneasy and unsure of what I was doing. I wasn’t sure if I was doing things appropriately or “domme”- like.

I remember he brought a duffel bag full of toys and slutty fits. I laid them out on the bed as he freshened up, trying to pick an outfit I would like to see him in. I chose a turquoise rayon outfit with black lace trimming for my sissy to wear once he got out of the shower.

He asked me if he could come out now, and I told him yes and that I had an outfit for him to change into for me. I first showed him what I was going to make him wear for me, and then handed it to him. His eyes lit up and he happily obliged.

He came back out, shy and meek, stripped of any authority he possessed. I was his Mistress now and I wanted him crawling to me. I found it extremely arousing to see a man who is a prominent professional in the area buy me whatever I wanted and do whatever I wanted him to.

I was sitting on a chair and I made him come to me and fit my feet and then take off my shoes and worship my perfect soles and cute toes.

I don’t think I let him touch my pussy but I did let him crawl behind me and see my almost bare ass from below. He was so happy to do so, and Chrissy did not get an orgasm that evening either.

I think I spanked him a few times, made him suck a dildo and fuck himself with one after wearing a plug.

The evening concluded with us eating In-N-Out, talking about nothing and sharing things about our lives.

After I got into my car to head back home, I couldn’t believe the day I had and also realized financial domination and power exchange had me aroused more than vanilla foreplay ever did, and now I had to get home to take care of myself.

06/27/2019

I’ve becoming increasingly independent that it is now out of my comfort and is overwhelming me,.

Being independent and self-reliant was something I always boasted and was proud of, but now I don’t want it. I would like to know what it feels like to not worry about controlling every aspect of my life, to let go, to be free.

I do not recall the last time I didn’t worry, perhaps prior to my stepdad moving in with my mom when I was 7. Thankfully, he never sexually abused me but he did hit me and strike me relentlessly with the belt. I think at 10 I started inflicting pain onto myself and by 12 I started drawing blood.

My mom didn’t understand and I didn’t understand either why I would hurt myself, at times I think it was to prepare myself for future hits or also could have been me seeking some of the attention that I stopped receiving long ago. One memory that particularly stands out to me is one from when I was 10 years old and got a lead part in my 5th grade musical. I practiced every day ; I sang in the shower, practiced speech, etc., hoping to get the lead which I did and the day of the play comes and my mom comes late to my part and didn’t bring a camera.

Achievements of mine as I have aged have pretty much gone unrecognized and its frustrating. For some reason, I have come this far despite no help nor mentorship only to want to quit going on.

As a submissive, I seek the approval and long to please my Dominant, to the best of my abilities. I will try before I say no. As a submissive I am not shy, I am still confident; I choose to give up power and my pride for a moment of bliss hopefully achieved with pain.

I know nothing in life is worth having if it is easy, but I am a realist and I know those who acquire generational wealth have had it easy in the socio-economic aspect.

As a Domme, I want to inflict pain onto others, especially the rich white elite who’s Fortune 500 company only fosters disparity in our nations and abroad. I know I am Supreme. I know I am more strong and resilient than most of these men, who are nothing and of no value without their money. They are just slaves. Pitiful slaves who know they need to serve, because deep down they know that they are terrible human beings. I will make you fall in love with me, with the goal to break your heart and take all your money. Take every last cent as reparations for the unnecessary suffering I’ve endured caused by centuries of withheld social constructs made by your race.

can I just wake up to $xx,xxx dollars and relax , I deserve it and I’m invoking it.

good night.