who knows what Love is? 10/02/19

this blog post is inspired by the song by Strawberry Switchblade…

I tend to fall in love with minor things. The rhythm of a song, the smell of certain flora, the smile or laugh of a stranger. It makes me happy to appreciate the details in life, and I hold them dear to my heart because I think each day is a gift and one should find something to be grateful in the trans course of their 24 hour period.

Each memory I make, especially those that bring me to smile, I keep them close to my heart and before I rest my head on my pillow I think of them again. Perhaps due to my empathetic nature, it is very easy for my emotions to be jostled by simple things. Perhaps due to me having nothing for the majority of my life I find value in things one wouldn’t glance over twice.

My life is not average, I am not average. I am not a pro domme, but have the ability to be. I choose to be who I am, and choose to be with certain people….

The people I keep in my life, it is because I love them or care for them deeply. There are very few people I stay in touch with. I want to know that they are happy, and if they are not, I want them to share their emotions with me.

My heart is a big house. But lately I feel it has been your halfway house.

You live here, with support and comfort. But I know your intentions are to leave once you are at your best.

Don’t forget where you came from, don’t forget where you were before and who you were before, and where you were while you worked to become the best person you could be.

Everything that comes around goes around, and maybe one day you will remember the support you had, and that this heart was a home for you and that is no longer yours.

my first experience as a novice Mistress

As I conclude my first year of being in the lifestyle, I recall the people I have met and sustained relationships with, and others that I should probably refrain from staying in contact with.

My mentor when I began this Journey was/is Audacity Diaz, a good friend of mine who is well more experienced in female domination than I was and even now she is still more assertive of Herself than I am. There is always something new I can learn from her.

Now, I have dabbled in the sugar bowl, but that is not the topic of this evening but prior to meeting my first submissive that was the only real life exposure I had to any type of SW. Surprisingly, it was not difficult for me to find potential daddies and the funny thing is that most of them where what I was looking for… a rich lawyer. So I knew it was important to be good with my words and carry myself in a certain manner, it was about being what these guys wanted me to be and give them excellent company that the surrounding men would be jealous of.

I’ll definitely touch more on my sugar bowl experiences at a later time, but as a side note I guess it reaffirmed that I much preferred taking the lead in relationships and being pampered, and spoiled for simply being me.

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I met my first submissive on Fetlife, although I had a bunch of slave applications in my inbox when I first started (as you can imagine), his stood out in particular due his proximity to me and the structure and content of his letter. I was just beginning to discover fetishes, and wasn’t quite sure what I liked and didn’t, but this submissive was into sissification. For sure his main kink.

He wasn’t ugly and he told me he had his own business… for some reason I thought he owned a restaurant or bakery due to the proximity but turns out I was talking to a lawyer with his own practice, coincidently.

I was a bit nervous to meet him, because again, I had turned 22 years old not that long ago and I was meeting a stranger who could easily be a murderer. But I guess he could have said the same.

We met at the parking lot of a store, and I was waiting for him inside as I was honestly really nervous. Then I got a text that he arrived and that he was in “the bougie Mercedes”. As I go outside I see him in his work clothes still, in the distance waving at me.

I had no idea how close we would get and how well we get along in a D/s relationship, but us smoking weed in his car the first time we met would have been a good indicator.

I adore Chrissy as a submissive. In retrospect I see he’s not one of the best human beings, but he is very fun to be with and at the same time I really admired him for his professional achievements.

Chrissy is an important person in my journey as a dominatrix, and was my first D/s relationship.

After smoking weed, we went back to the store and he bought me over $300 worth of crap I wanted, which included a fancy bong, jewelry for my piercings, and probably something else that I don’t remember now. I made him carry the purchase and my purse as he walked behind me. I was also aware that the people at the store knew that they were going to get a fat purchase with us as they were EXTRA helpful.

When we got to the hotel room on the side of the beach, I did not feel uncomfortable but I did feel uneasy and unsure of what I was doing. I wasn’t sure if I was doing things appropriately or “domme”- like.

I remember he brought a duffel bag full of toys and slutty fits. I laid them out on the bed as he freshened up, trying to pick an outfit I would like to see him in. I chose a turquoise rayon outfit with black lace trimming for my sissy to wear once he got out of the shower.

He asked me if he could come out now, and I told him yes and that I had an outfit for him to change into for me. I first showed him what I was going to make him wear for me, and then handed it to him. His eyes lit up and he happily obliged.

He came back out, shy and meek, stripped of any authority he possessed. I was his Mistress now and I wanted him crawling to me. I found it extremely arousing to see a man who is a prominent professional in the area buy me whatever I wanted and do whatever I wanted him to.

I was sitting on a chair and I made him come to me and fit my feet and then take off my shoes and worship my perfect soles and cute toes.

I don’t think I let him touch my pussy but I did let him crawl behind me and see my almost bare ass from below. He was so happy to do so, and Chrissy did not get an orgasm that evening either.

I think I spanked him a few times, made him suck a dildo and fuck himself with one after wearing a plug.

The evening concluded with us eating In-N-Out, talking about nothing and sharing things about our lives.

After I got into my car to head back home, I couldn’t believe the day I had and also realized financial domination and power exchange had me aroused more than vanilla foreplay ever did, and now I had to get home to take care of myself.

Initial Entry

I wouldn’t know where to begin or how to introduce myself, as my life has been shaped by unique experiences that are SOLELY mine and what make me… well Me. I believe the best way would be for me to progressively paint a picture of who I am as a domina will be through these posts.

Disclosure: Names will be changed, some localities will be excluded. I will pursue legal action if any of my writings are reposted and/or published without permission from the author.

These are My own lived experiences I want to share.


May 21st, 2019

I was in the Lyft that my submissive had ordered for me. It was traffic hour so I had extra time to think and go over what we were going to do. Within that 45-60 minute drive, I was determined that this would be the night that I would piss on him.

He had already been wearing his chastity device for me to his office, and my diligent slave had always sent me a picture of him in his clitty cage prior to going into his office and another one in the evening, so I could give him permission to take it off for the evening. My obedient sub bitch had truly earned this golden shower.

By the time I arrived to his condo, I was exceptionally ecstatic to see him again because of what I had planned for later. He probably thought that I was really happy to see him after a month (one thing or another always came up last minute on either of our ends), but the truth is that I was just eager to use him as my toilet later. He could not take his eyes off me – he looked at me not with lust, but extreme adoration.
Who can blame him when I dressed exceptionally sexy tonight to make sure that he would eagerly say ,”Yes Mistress!” to each of my commands, no matter the request…

We arrived at the restaurant and about 15 minutes after getting seated, he tells me he is currently wearing his clitty cage. Now, my sub is very skittish; he is like 45 and scared of getting exposed for being the total bitch that he is, so public D/s interactions have been few and rare. For my submissive to take this initiative was very refreshing and appreciated. He still glanced over his shoulders and lowered his voice to make sure no one heard him, which was quite unnecessary in my opinion due to the fact no one around us was paying us any mind, but I digress. Something my subbie will get over with time.

Later, we arrived to his place after our date. I sat on his couch and commanded him to take off my heels and to fetch me a drink afterward. He happily obliged, as I am sure he imaged a foot worship was in order soon. Just as he got out of sight I slipped out of my tight jeans so he could properly worship both my pretty legs and feet. I sat upright with my legs extended across the couch, waving him to come sit next to my pedicured toes. He gave me my drink and asked me if there was anything else he could do, “Mistress”. I smiled and told him to get the oil so he could massage my toes up to my thighs. He quickly went to fetch it and once back, proceeded to massage with great care each toe, and every inch of my feet. He was still in his dress shirt and jeans – cock cage underneath. I still hadn’t seen it yet.

At this time, I had an urge to empty my bladder. Instead of telling him that I would be back in a moment, I told him to follow me upstairs. Still clothed, he follows me to his bedroom. And I tell him to strip and to show me his clitty cage.

He eagerly does so. There he stands, a professional older man turned a white bitch for me, for my entertainment and happiness. Naked with a cock caged and closed padlock, just for me! I opened the door to his onsuite and told him to go lay in the tub.

I’m not sure if he knew 100% what was going on, but after he got in I crouched over his chest and told him I was going to pee on him. I always had the hardest time peeing on someone, I had never managed to do it, but this night I did. I closed my eyes, disassociating for a moment and before I knew it my golden nectar was streaming out. My submissive was smiling at me as I was pissing onto his chest and then looking at my pussy, which I was looking at also in disbelief and joy that I actually managed to do it for the first time in my life!

After I finished peeing, I told him to clean me up with his tongue. I was still crouched over him, my brown, godly pussy hovering over his face. I let him lick me for a few minutes with me crouched over him like that, satisfied with the moment.

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