who knows what Love is? 10/02/19

this blog post is inspired by the song by Strawberry Switchblade…

I tend to fall in love with minor things. The rhythm of a song, the smell of certain flora, the smile or laugh of a stranger. It makes me happy to appreciate the details in life, and I hold them dear to my heart because I think each day is a gift and one should find something to be grateful in the trans course of their 24 hour period.

Each memory I make, especially those that bring me to smile, I keep them close to my heart and before I rest my head on my pillow I think of them again. Perhaps due to my empathetic nature, it is very easy for my emotions to be jostled by simple things. Perhaps due to me having nothing for the majority of my life I find value in things one wouldn’t glance over twice.

My life is not average, I am not average. I am not a pro domme, but have the ability to be. I choose to be who I am, and choose to be with certain people….

The people I keep in my life, it is because I love them or care for them deeply. There are very few people I stay in touch with. I want to know that they are happy, and if they are not, I want them to share their emotions with me.

My heart is a big house. But lately I feel it has been your halfway house.

You live here, with support and comfort. But I know your intentions are to leave once you are at your best.

Don’t forget where you came from, don’t forget where you were before and who you were before, and where you were while you worked to become the best person you could be.

Everything that comes around goes around, and maybe one day you will remember the support you had, and that this heart was a home for you and that is no longer yours.

angloamerican men are (tw:raceplay)

  • dumb
  • annoying
  • pussies
  • boring

and meant to be my bitches. You are crazy to even *think* that I would ever love you. I’m with you to see you and make you cry. I fuck up your mind thinking I care and love you, but its all part of my plan.

What is my plan, you ask?

Well, my dear slave, its simply act in a way that makes you believe that you have me, that I am yours, that what we have is unique, to make you feel as IF you were a hot shot. I bet it stokes your bitch ego to think that a hot Latina wants you, and that actually enjoys hanging out with you.

You will mistakingly think I’m content, and you stop trying – because there will come a point where your ego becomes so big, you mistakingly think I am happy and that were happy, and that everything is good, that you are THE man. And you are too stupid and small minded that you won’t realize I’m already looking for fit, smart, upcoming guys my age, or at least 10 years younger than you, to fuck and suck.

I want to see my bitch boyfriend watch me get fucked by a real man. I want my slave to cry while bound, gagged and helpless, watching his “trophy” get pleased immenseley in a way that he knows he never could.

Ideally, my lover will be another latino. And you will see why we are superior. I will make you suck his cock after it was in my tight, young pussy. I will see in your eyes how much you love me, and I will laugh, and he will laugh while throat fucking you.

Why would I love a colonizer, a capitalist, a beneficiary of white privilege? You submit because its the only way you can make it up to me, because you know if you weren’t white you’d be fucking nothing.

Be fucking grateful I grace you with my godliness, bitch.

Now lick my superior brown foot, and stay chaste for me forever.

We don’t need more parasites like you walking around.

Cry for me. Beg for my forgiveness.

They always come back, on their knees and begging

Chrissy is the most satisfactory of the submissives I have encountered. Lawyers are good at lying and omitting the truth… but I’m destined to be one so I’m good at lying too.

I may be young but I am dominant and far more powerful than most women, especially those my age.

Men bow down to me, eager to impress me with their bodies, minds, and souls.

I am a one of a kind Mistress. Empathetic, kind, sensual. Sadistic and intellectual. It is not uncommon for success to follow my sub once engaged with me. Hence why I expect to be spoiled and worshipped in every way.

The best way a man can serve me is by being my pain pig or sissy whore. I dream of my perfect submissive.

slave applications

If I had not approached you previously, the best way to approach me is by writing me a letter (via email/msg/ect.), stating your purpose, how you can serve and what benefit you could bring to my life by being part of it.

Not seeking to be a fetish dispenser, and if so, you can request a session with me.

Ideally my dream submissive is 30-45 years old, fit and healthy, tall, professional, kind and alpha in his vanilla life. I like men who are giving, and emotionally invested, with no baggage.

I’m looking for someone interested in CBT, sissification, humiliation, service topping, and public acts.

What I seek in a partner

ive been feeling really blue lately, out of touch with who I perceive myself to be. I know I am stronger and more capable than most people I know, men and women alike. I have been frustrated, and have been wanting to be more submissive more than ever. I have so many responsibilities and there is no safety net I can fall back on, I do whatever it takes to get by. I guess I’m a switch because I adore being top bitch but also just being directed what to do.

Many men admire this quality about me, especially older men. Honestly, I’ve been feeling very asexual lately. I seek an emotional connection that is reciprocated, with someone who is attracted to me as much as I am with them. The most important physical attributes is for them to be over 5’10, able-bodied, and strong (if I am stronger than you than nah, because I like piggy back rides). I don’t think I want to pursue a romantic relationship right now. But if there was a man who really wanted to be with me, he would sacrifice and do everything possible to make it so. That is what is most attractive to me, a man of action not a man of words. Promises mean nothing to me, do it now or just leave me alone.

What makes you think I need you? I don’t need anybody. But if I come across a man that makes me feel like a need him, who takes the time to know me, then I would reciprocate the feelings. And I am very emotionally invested once I feel it is safe to do so.

Please do not approach me if there is nothing in your life that has been a success, or theres nothing you have accomplished that you are extremely proud of. Older men, I expect more from you. If youre married or been married prior, you definitely need to understand that I expect 110% from you no exceptions.

I am writing this semi buzzed, but that is because I have been sad as I broke off my relationship with my last sub. He was great but lacked communication skills. Dommes can’t read minds, that is an absolute fantasy. Also a d/s realtionship isn’t solely sex, I think its a combination of everything and power exchange. And thats what I want.

independency

I truly believe I was born under a lucky star.

Everything I’ve ever truly wanted, I’ve had. That’s not without saying that that includes the not-so-good things too. No matter what tremendous obstacle or difficulty life has given me, I always manage to find a way to work through it. The past year has been a huge developmental period for me, and now I really feel like I have grown into a woman.

For the past month I’ve been dealing with such a stressful situation that I actually masturbated a couple times per week to relieve the tension I had built up, when I usually only self-console no more than 3 times a month. My slaves mouth was too busy litigating in a court far, far, away and our schedules just made it impossible for both of us. And when I did see him I was way too mentally drained to want to make a scene and play with him, even though I really wanted. My headspace was just not there.

Today was a big day for me, another definitive step into adulthood and toward complete autocracy.

The situation I had been dealing with for a while now had me anxious and depressed to the point that I was not feeling like a domme.

With my situation addressed and solved, I feel very much relieved and on top of the world, again.

Can’t wait to make various men my willing bitches. But mostly looking forward for my slave to come back from his hiking trip, so I can share the news with him and also play out a scene I had been planning for awhile.

my first experience as a novice Mistress

As I conclude my first year of being in the lifestyle, I recall the people I have met and sustained relationships with, and others that I should probably refrain from staying in contact with.

My mentor when I began this Journey was/is Audacity Diaz, a good friend of mine who is well more experienced in female domination than I was and even now she is still more assertive of Herself than I am. There is always something new I can learn from her.

Now, I have dabbled in the sugar bowl, but that is not the topic of this evening but prior to meeting my first submissive that was the only real life exposure I had to any type of SW. Surprisingly, it was not difficult for me to find potential daddies and the funny thing is that most of them where what I was looking for… a rich lawyer. So I knew it was important to be good with my words and carry myself in a certain manner, it was about being what these guys wanted me to be and give them excellent company that the surrounding men would be jealous of.

I’ll definitely touch more on my sugar bowl experiences at a later time, but as a side note I guess it reaffirmed that I much preferred taking the lead in relationships and being pampered, and spoiled for simply being me.

—————- —————— ————- ————-

I met my first submissive on Fetlife, although I had a bunch of slave applications in my inbox when I first started (as you can imagine), his stood out in particular due his proximity to me and the structure and content of his letter. I was just beginning to discover fetishes, and wasn’t quite sure what I liked and didn’t, but this submissive was into sissification. For sure his main kink.

He wasn’t ugly and he told me he had his own business… for some reason I thought he owned a restaurant or bakery due to the proximity but turns out I was talking to a lawyer with his own practice, coincidently.

I was a bit nervous to meet him, because again, I had turned 22 years old not that long ago and I was meeting a stranger who could easily be a murderer. But I guess he could have said the same.

We met at the parking lot of a store, and I was waiting for him inside as I was honestly really nervous. Then I got a text that he arrived and that he was in “the bougie Mercedes”. As I go outside I see him in his work clothes still, in the distance waving at me.

I had no idea how close we would get and how well we get along in a D/s relationship, but us smoking weed in his car the first time we met would have been a good indicator.

I adore Chrissy as a submissive. In retrospect I see he’s not one of the best human beings, but he is very fun to be with and at the same time I really admired him for his professional achievements.

Chrissy is an important person in my journey as a dominatrix, and was my first D/s relationship.

After smoking weed, we went back to the store and he bought me over $300 worth of crap I wanted, which included a fancy bong, jewelry for my piercings, and probably something else that I don’t remember now. I made him carry the purchase and my purse as he walked behind me. I was also aware that the people at the store knew that they were going to get a fat purchase with us as they were EXTRA helpful.

When we got to the hotel room on the side of the beach, I did not feel uncomfortable but I did feel uneasy and unsure of what I was doing. I wasn’t sure if I was doing things appropriately or “domme”- like.

I remember he brought a duffel bag full of toys and slutty fits. I laid them out on the bed as he freshened up, trying to pick an outfit I would like to see him in. I chose a turquoise rayon outfit with black lace trimming for my sissy to wear once he got out of the shower.

He asked me if he could come out now, and I told him yes and that I had an outfit for him to change into for me. I first showed him what I was going to make him wear for me, and then handed it to him. His eyes lit up and he happily obliged.

He came back out, shy and meek, stripped of any authority he possessed. I was his Mistress now and I wanted him crawling to me. I found it extremely arousing to see a man who is a prominent professional in the area buy me whatever I wanted and do whatever I wanted him to.

I was sitting on a chair and I made him come to me and fit my feet and then take off my shoes and worship my perfect soles and cute toes.

I don’t think I let him touch my pussy but I did let him crawl behind me and see my almost bare ass from below. He was so happy to do so, and Chrissy did not get an orgasm that evening either.

I think I spanked him a few times, made him suck a dildo and fuck himself with one after wearing a plug.

The evening concluded with us eating In-N-Out, talking about nothing and sharing things about our lives.

After I got into my car to head back home, I couldn’t believe the day I had and also realized financial domination and power exchange had me aroused more than vanilla foreplay ever did, and now I had to get home to take care of myself.