the definition of passion

This ode is to the idea of you, for that is whom I am truly pining for.

Writing in my journal does not suppress the intense emotions and dreams thinking of you brings me.

I juggle between worlds, attempting to find the right words or expressions to describe each emotion that my Heart births for you. For you I created a philosophy;

abstruse, ageless and ancestral definitions of passion and love.

I have gathered for you the most beautiful and desirable of my dreams that I have sowed and reaped by the Spring of my life, tender products of my sweat and blood.

What have you done to deserve this devotion, to deserve My most sincere confessions.

Are you my Achilles heel?

We are opposites, You and I.

You are left, I am right


A logical man, determined to make illogical

I am your Life.

The fire of your loins.

Your sin, your soul.

sin titulo

I want to dance,

I want my dress to cling to my body,

I want you to watch.

I want you to love and adore me,

desire me,

sing and read to me,

until I fall asleep.

I have a jewelry box,

full of beating hearts

yours is not in it.

Me hiciste llorar,

y mi hiciste recordar

que no soy suficiente.

I want to dance with others,

and smile and laugh



make you desire me

No volvere amar asi

y espero

que valores

y guardes

este grande amor

que sostuve por ti

Te amo

sin cesar

sin questionar

los miles de crimenes

que has hecho

contra mi

y a mi corazon


y alma

me tienes trastornada



por ti

que veneno me diste

por que la inocencia que tengo se va desvaneciendo

si quieres que sea mala

sere tu diabla

dame tu mano

y baila conmigo

este bals

de mentiras y pasión.


Un y mil veces,


me ruinas mi vida

salte de mi corazon

ya no quiero que vivas aquí

lamento haberte conocido

lamento haber retorcido entre tus brazos

no se por que amo sin cesar a hombre que se empeñan a lastimarme,

a engañarme

y tratarme como quieran

me siento como Maria Magdalena,

derramando mis lagrimas por ti,

y usándolas, empapando mi cabellera con ellas

para limpiar tus tiernos pies

los pies de un hombre que no ha sufrido

dias en el sol

eres un pendejo

por que yo hubiera dado mi vida entera por ti


I wish you were lapping the honey that flows between my thighs.

Me haces falta. Quisiera que estuvieras aqui.

Te comiera entero, como si fueras un bocadillo.

Me encanta verte, sentirte

ansioso por mi

Ven aqui,

lamba mis deditos. chupa mi miel.


Not sure how I was popular on my old blog, but I feel it was because I continuously talked into the void

I bull shit too much through life, but I digress.

I’ve been thinking a lot about of one my exes, Julian, who literally begged me to not break up and who consistently tried to win me back. He was not a perfect boyfriend, he was lazy and had little aspirations but he had an innocent heart.

He hurt me a few times, with stupid shit and I stayed because he would give an effort in trying.

He was fun in the beginning but he did a lot of head-ass things, to the point he became unattractive to me. Which was crazy, because a lot of young and older women (lol) found him attractive and would try to flirt with him in front of me. But I knew I had him so wrapped on my finger i didn’t care. I wanted to end it because I could no longer stand to feel his lips pressed against mine.

After we broke up for good, he came to my house the next day. I told him to leave and he said no, unless I agreed to get back together. He thought it was just a tantrum I was throwing, but truly I had met someone else I wanted to try with. I was very mean to Julian, humiliating him and destroying any arguments he had as to why we belonged together. He looked on the brink of tears as he pleaded me to take him back.

“How are you going to ask for me back when you have nothing to offer? How can you say you want to win me over yet come to my house empty handed?”

And this boi heard this and left. I gave a sigh of relief but the show started again when he came back 20 minutes later with a bouquet of sunflowers to offer me.

I just threw them at him.

And I told him that it was done and that he could not offer me what I wanted. Which was true, I begged HIM to go back to school continuously while together and he never listened. So why should I listen to him.

We last spoke in February, probably before Valentine’s Day. I thought Maybe he wanted to be friends, which was false. So I gave himhis last blessing and haven’t heard from him since

I deserve to feel what he felt. I accept my pain

poesía 1

estoy tomando y pensando en ti

por que me tratas así,

si sabes cuanto te amo y deseo.

como el humo te evaporas de mis brazos,

unas noches conmigo, abrigándome empapándome con gotas de tu agua.

y por las mañanas te desvaneces.

por que me haces estor amor,

si sabes cuanto te amo y anhelo.

environmentalism and wyt men (very non-kink)

White men think that buying at Whole Foods and Sprouts, using reusable stainless steel straws and hiking gonna save the damn earth…

no bitch

use your fucking money to assist others

I used to think white men who cared about the environment must care as well for the indigenous people residing in the most vulnerable places with the nicest ecosystems

but truly white men only care about wildlife and fuckall for the human race

what has changed? absolutely fucking nothing

you colonize, rape, take and take and take throughout the centuries

when will you reach your fill?

when will you be satisfied?

all white men do is take and take until nothing is left.

you care about the environment for your own selfish gain… for the chance to vacation there.

my family’s land is not your vacation center, you brought drugs and firearms into my land,

took my woman, traffic my people, exploit people’s vulnerabilities for your own capitalistic gain

white latinos also benefit from the system

and just so everyone knows; I will defend the most helpless and vulnerable to death. and perhaps myself I do not identify as black, but my grandfather was AfroCubano and his family were once slaves on plantations so I understand that black people throughout history and in most parts of the globe have suffered @ the hands of white men!!!!!!!!

if you reading this, donate to George Floyd funeral, or to a non profit that assists immigrant children.

send me a pic of your donation and we will talk.

Your birthday

If you were me, and I were you;

I would be constantly woo-ing you, making You smile and blush.

I want to be brush you use at night before bed, the sandals you put on in the morning. I want to be the first thing your perfect feet step on.

You would be my muse. I would do anything for you. I would do anything to keep you happy. Even if that meant letting you go

I know you don’t love me the same way I love you.

I would put my world at your feet.

You truly are the devil

yummy cummies


I feel like I am close to forgetting the details of my most memorable experience as a Domme. It truly is a shame I haven’t lived another experience as thrilling as the one I have yet to finish telling.

Very random sidenote, but men truly are the simplest creatures.

The story left off with Chrissy and me sitting in his European car. Estaba bien chiveado el señor. He was too embarrassed to look me in the eyes for longer than a second or two, I obviously relished the fact that I was making him squirm without him actually flailing about. I cant help but giggle when I notice how pathetic he turns for me.

We were parked behind a sex shop, so it was mandatory that I make his bitch ass buy me things. Before heading into the store however, I asked him to show me the outfit he wore for me. He nervously laughed as he reached with his trembling hand towards the top button of his pressed dress shirt. After unbuttoning a few, he pulled opened his shirt and revealed to me a baby-pink, lacy bralette with the smallest triangle cups and chest jewelry.

I let Chrissy wear whatever accessories she wants when we play, because she buys me whatever I want whenever I ask; no hesitations.

We briefly caught up on vanilla things, as I sincerely care for each of my submissives. Then I told him I was ready to go to the store, and as we were about to go inside one of his clients who happened to be in the Cadillac parked behind us called him over. Knowing how skittish my boi could be, and his vanilla lifestyle so I went in without him. I knew he would soon follow. I shopped around, my eyes skimming for toys that I know would make my sissy squirm with delight or bleat for me.

I had just chosen one or two things for myself, insignificant things really, by the time Chrissy came into the store. She looked really nervous, but I of course, always know the right things to say. It took only a moment or two to get her docile and in her right state of mind again. I had been eyeing a clit cage for a little bit, and at the register it dawned on me that I wanted it for my mischievous plans later in the evening.

Our cashier was a very sweet and shy seeming girl, probably no older than 25. She seemed more shy than the other workers at the shop that I had interacted with, anyways. I didn’t ask her to show me the cage, but made Chrissy ask. It was really funny seeing a trial attorney stutter out ” may I please see the cock cage” while his face turned a bright shade of red.

Our cashier seemed conflicted as to whether it was okay to laugh or not, because I can imagine from an outside perspective it may appear my poor Chrissy was in an abusive relationship with me, which is simply not the case. In my effort to give her the okay to laugh, as she went around the counter to get the display item, I sternly and loudly said “Don’t just stand there, go help her get it!” to Chrissy who quickly turned his heels to follow her. It was after I said this that she laughed liberally, which made my boi nervously smile at me.

After our purchase, we went back to his car and it was decided (I decided) that we were to head out to LA for the evening! One of my favorite cities.

I made him strip out of his work clothes for me in the parking lot, forcing him to drive us to the Mondrian in his baby-pink thong and bra set.

Experiences like these make me love my life 🙂

As per usual, not done. Roughly written; Too many details I have yet to share and will refine




virtual kisses, besitos, petit bisou pour mes chiens


sabra Dios

you continue to fester in my brain, therefore I remain completely fixated on you.

I hope my neighbors heard us that time I invited you over, so they can understand why I was crying last night listening to romantic Spanish songs.

At first, I would pretend to be surprised to when I noticed you were hard around me. But you got stiff for me so often, that I would switch between teasing you about it or giving you reassurance. I loved feeling your big hand reach over to rub my pussy while we were headed toward somewhere ; I enjoy making you act irrationally. The moments you acted human are the ones that assure me that this is, or was, real.

Here I am trying to forget you but you are still constantly on my mind. Some people still think you’re my boyfriend, I cringe when they ask about you.

And to be honest, I only allowed you this deep into my life because I originally had the intention of using you, only to realize I was the one being used all along. But I love you so much, if we were to be together in the future, I would go in fully understanding the type of man you are.

I only have myself to blame for falling deeply in love with you. Nothing makes my heart race faster than a man who can potentially put me in my place and hurt me.

In a conversation with someone, they brought up indigeneity and futurism; is our relationship not similar to the conquistador with with indigenous mistress, did I not aid you in your pursuit of the world. And like her, was I not fucked over by my lover. What do I have to show? Those 3 or 4 pair of fancy shoes you bought me, the expensive coat, the fine dinners, the trips? At least she bore his first child. You took what I could give and left me bare.

If you were just playing with me, then you are terrible for talking about having a kid with me. I told you if you didn’t want kids ever, then this will not work. Your response was that you were open to it, but after a discussion. You said if you didn’t have kids with me, you wouldn’t have kids with anyone else; which probably just meant that you never had any intentions of having children with me or anyone.

I apologize, I am just trying to make sense of all of this.

On the other hand, I can’t help but also think that we are both sick fucks. I can’t imagine anyone else you have met in your past or will met in the future can rock you with a strap on the way I can. Or ride you like I can. I love you so much to the point I’ve become submissive to you and I know you’ve noticed. If mentally torturing me like this pleases you, then I can’t help but oblige just a little. – H