Monday, 01/04/21

sorry, not sorry. theres nothing left I want to say to you, theres really nothing left about -us- that should be discussed, you were nice and I won’t deny it but its useless to try again. you are better off looking for love elsewhere. amistad es lo unico que te puedo ofrecer. that briefness was nice. it made me realize that there is more than one person that can compliment you. more reason for me to be sure of my choice, I stand with my happiness whether you understand it or not.


Another night, another thought I had. For You.

I don’t need anyone to save me,

I always save myself.

To let you in, is to be vulnerable. To forget you, would have been the logical decision.

Wish my head was colder, but thats you.

My body scorches when its near you,

only you can calm this fever.

If we were to compare ourselves to bodies on this earth,

I would be a volcano and you’d be a snow-capped mountain.

maybe its the distance that makes us stand out to each other,

but then again, aren’t we one and the same?

we are not so different after all…

one day ill be you,

and one day you were me.

there is no one that fascinates me more,

than you.

nothing else that fascinates me as much

as that mountain I wish to climb and conquer,

claim,

mine.

que tus dedos sean rios, / your fingers, rivers

y tus palmas, los bancos, /your palms, the banks

donde me siento a saciar mi sed. / where I go to rest and quench my human thirst

tus pestañas, los ramos de los arboles que me dan sombra. / your eyelashes, the leafy tree branches that shade me

I reach out to touch them,

caress them,

on my way to your peak.

you are part of something much bigger that I don’t quite understand,

yet you’re quite separate from it.

before I met you I was jaded.

no one has ever fascinated me more.

I wish to learn all the arts,

to show you all the different ways I can and will love you.


never worried, I’ll focus on everything else and see what happens :)…

I’m making a vegetarian Wellington tomorrow, mushroom based. Very excited, it sounds promising. Also for some reason I am really obsessed with Luis Miguel? I’ve been listening to him and ballenatos incessantly these past few days. It’s probably because I saw ___, more than likely, obviously. But its good because its been inspiring me. The music. Seeing ___ actually gave me writers block lol, I have been too happy and stuck on cloud 9 to want to write or do anything that is not necessary to do. School is first.

Also, I start playing with that couple on Thursday. Well, the husband since he’s the Dom. I’m excited to look and go through their toys through, Thursday will just be pulling out the toys that are hard no’s for me. They are nice folk. She gave me cinnamon rolls to take home 🙂

I’m so lucky lol

I feel very lucky and fortunate, I am very grateful for everything. I’m on pace with my study schedule for LSAT, I’m reading Hemingway and I’m enjoying it much more than I had thought, my reading is improving and I can begin to tell, my school me dio beaucoup l’argent, like, everything I need to aim to take the test in fall. I didn’t get the internship, which made me sad but that “oh, thats too bad” type of way. Shruggable. Theres more opportunities and there are more important things to do right now, later there will be something much better for me. That I am sure of.

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