06/09

Not sure how I was popular on my old blog, but I feel it was because I continuously talked into the void

I bull shit too much through life, but I digress.

I’ve been thinking a lot about of one my exes, Julian, who literally begged me to not break up and who consistently tried to win me back. He was not a perfect boyfriend, he was lazy and had little aspirations but he had an innocent heart.

He hurt me a few times, with stupid shit and I stayed because he would give an effort in trying.

He was fun in the beginning but he did a lot of head-ass things, to the point he became unattractive to me. Which was crazy, because a lot of young and older women (lol) found him attractive and would try to flirt with him in front of me. But I knew I had him so wrapped on my finger i didn’t care. I wanted to end it because I could no longer stand to feel his lips pressed against mine.

After we broke up for good, he came to my house the next day. I told him to leave and he said no, unless I agreed to get back together. He thought it was just a tantrum I was throwing, but truly I had met someone else I wanted to try with. I was very mean to Julian, humiliating him and destroying any arguments he had as to why we belonged together. He looked on the brink of tears as he pleaded me to take him back.

“How are you going to ask for me back when you have nothing to offer? How can you say you want to win me over yet come to my house empty handed?”

And this boi heard this and left. I gave a sigh of relief but the show started again when he came back 20 minutes later with a bouquet of sunflowers to offer me.

I just threw them at him.

And I told him that it was done and that he could not offer me what I wanted. Which was true, I begged HIM to go back to school continuously while together and he never listened. So why should I listen to him.

We last spoke in February, probably before Valentine’s Day. I thought Maybe he wanted to be friends, which was false. So I gave himhis last blessing and haven’t heard from him since

I deserve to feel what he felt. I accept my pain

Published by

evillatina

A chameleon, constantly adapting but remaining true to my values. Dominant Latinx, Artist, and (wannabe) Aesthetic Philosopher. Musing about love and D/s, occasionally reminiscing on past affairs and experiences. Ageless.

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